The Good Portion

{From my journal}

June 24, 2015

Everyday, I am sowing something, regardless of whether or not I am aware of it. By His grace, I want to start each day with Him, seek His wisdom and leading – wisdom that is "pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere" – so I can make the choices that lead to a "harvest of righteousness" which is "sown in peace by those who make peace."

Lord, I need so much help with this. Everyday, I choose to worship at the altar of self, often becoming frustrated when things don't go my way or they are harder than I'd hoped they would be. In my own strength, I can't find wisdom or peace, nor can I bear the kind of fruits that actually last. Pour out your mercy on me:  a woman, wondering how to do this thing called life as a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend. But most of all, as a sinner … saved by grace, without a doubt, but so easily enticed to choose the easier roads, not pushing to do the hard things that can lead to long-lasting rewards.

I am so weak and weary. Help me to seek and rely on Your strength and love and see my life transformed. Though I can sometimes be like Martha, "anxious and troubled about many things," help me to focus on the "one thing" that is necessary. Help me to choose "the good portion."

Amen and amen.