Soul Cravings

Working out is hard. Working out consistently is even harder. Eating a well-balanced diet is hard. And being thoughtful and consistent about it is even harder. 

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to join Farrell's; since it was something I have always been interested in, I jumped at it even though I have never taken a class at a gym and (let's be honest) rarely ever visited a gym even when I had complimentary memberships. But this post isn't really about working out or eating well. I have gone through this whole "get back on the horse" thing before and blogged about it, too. The one thing I consistently find whenever I try to adopt a healthier lifestyle is that our bodies are connected to our souls. For some reason, God designed us so that the needs of our outer person directly correlate to the needs of the very core of us (and I'm not talking about your abs).

As a part of this 10-week class I am taking, I had the chance to visit a local grocery store and attend a guided tour with a certified dietician. It was pretty straightforward, and I felt like I was hearing facts I already knew about or that were pretty intuitive. One question that really struck me, however, was, "Why do we so often reach for sugary or fatty foods?" One person replied that those foods are generally easy; another chuckled that they taste good. I couldn't help but blurt out:

"Because we teach our bodies what to crave."

I may choose crackers over carrot sticks or mashed potatoes over salad, but is it because I don't like raw carrots or I'm not head-over-heels about salad? Or is it simply because I gravitate towards foods that satisfy my immediate cravings for salt or sugar without thinking about what will really satisfy me and keep me full? Do I consider what will make me happy next week or only in this very moment? As I reintroduce healthy eating habits into my life, I am reminding my body that, as Sesame Street so aptly put, "We need vegetables always, but cookies are for sometimes." I am training my mind to enjoy the natural sweetness and savoriness of the foods around me, while still enjoying the occasional splurge here and there.

And so, just as we feed our bodies, we are daily feeding our souls. Many of us have days, weeks, or even years where we are couch-potato Christians, aimlessly munching on spiritual tidbits here and there mixed in with unhealthy doses of over-processed information from the world streaming into our senses. Instead of actively taking responsibility for our growth, we limp along thinking we're doing alright. What we don't realize is that our souls are starving. We are living in a fast-food, grab-and-go society, where we have taught our minds to crave information in short, colorful bursts.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. … Then I said, “Behold, I have come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me:  I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”

I love this Psalm of David. He had so many people pressed around him pressuring him to make decisions in the midst of very present danger, but he knew that whatever plans the Lord had for him were far better than his own. And he was content to wait for God's answers in God's time. He was able to wait patiently because he regularly came to God, learned His Word, and sought His will. Just as I sometimes need to examine my life and establish better patterns of eating and exercise, I need to regularly examine my heart to see what patterns God wants me to put on … and what patterns He wants me to "put off." Matthew 15 puts it this way:

And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand:  it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” … And he said, “Are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.

It is so, so important for us to take care of the earthly bodies that God has given us. But how we handle our hearts will have an effect on eternity. "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life" (Proverbs 4:23, NLT). My soul will crave what I teach it to crave. Sometimes that will be facebook or Netflix or a fiction book. By God's grace I can identify the unhealthy "soul junk food" in my life and be reminded to feast on the Bread and drink of the Living Water. I can run to God like a weary animal runs to a stream and find my true heart's longing there.

Source

Mr. Personality

I posted this video on Facebook about six weeks ago when Elias started walking literally overnight (okay … so he went from taking three steps at a time to walking across the room). With Kieran, I said that my favorite stage of his was about the 12-15 month range, and the same is proving true with Elias. At this point, these kids are learning something new everyday and just soaking up everything around them.

This kid is such a ham!

His speech has really ramped up recently, too! He has obviously had a good understanding of what is being said to him for quite awhile now. I could tell he was just bursting to communicate with us, but it seemed all he would ever say were either "Mama" or "Dada." Now he has added words like "Hi," "Bye," "No," "Yes," "Crack-uh," "Juice," (he always wants to steal his brother's). He knows several animal sounds, and he is a GREAT imitator. This guy cracks us up!

He has grown in other ways, too. He finally likes whole milk. And it is nice to know that he feels comfortable staying with others while Mom is elsewhere. He likes to help and has started to develop quite the interest in anything with wheels, just like big brother.

I do have to say, though, this cherubic little face has shown us some times of true testing. He has been, in my opinion, an extremely difficult teether. It seems like everytime we think we are past the worst of it, he is in the throes of it once again. This whole process can be exhausting for big and little people alike.

He fell asleep while eating lunch two days in a row.

It is so exciting to see his little personality flourish! While there is a lot of "brotherly love," they are really enjoying having each other around. Either one will get anxious for the other one to wake up if they wake up first, and Kieran is often asking, "Where's Elias?" or "Does Elias want to play with me?"

Every day is a new adventure.

Rising From the Ashes to the Stars

In the shadows

In the sorrows

In the desert

When the pain hits

You are constant

Ever-present

You're the song of my heart

Happy third birthday to our sweet angel baby.

One Word–2015

Last year, instead of making a New Year's Resolution, I chose one word that I wanted to define my year: servanthood. It wasn't easy. In fact, I would say that after the first six months, I became somewhat immune to the word; nevertheless, I am glad that I did it, and I want to try again this year. 

As I thought and thought about what I struggled most with in 2014, it became clear to me that I drifted through many periods of purposelessness and apathy. This fall, in our MOPS group, we have focused on the theme "Be You, Bravely." So often I allow fear to drive my life and keep me from trying new things–whether it's potty training my two-year-old or introducing myself to a stranger. It's easier to stay where life is comfortable and relatively safe, instead of stretching myself or trying and failing. As our lives and our roles change, we often lose our sense of self and just stay afloat in the day-to-day aspects of living life, rather than diving in and reaching for the next thing God has for us.

I went searching for a quote from Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life, a book I read when I was out on my own for the first time my first semester of college. While perhaps not on my list of the top five books I have ever read, God knew it was what I needed at that time. As I skimmed through the first chapter of the book, what really resonated with me wasn't the perspective on where I came from but the purposelessness I have felt lately with where I am going. 2014 ushered in a new era for me as I quit my full-time job to stay at home after the birth of our second child. I could write pages on what drove us to make that decision; however, as with many things in life, sometimes the greater challenge is not the decisions themselves but the act of living them out.

There is so much value in taking that leap of faith and following what we believe to be God’s will for us; the difficulty often lies in the day-to-day faithfulness to the steps we have already taken as we practice the upward climb of our walk with Christ. We struggle for joy in the daily tasks he sets before us. We wrestle with seeking to please God rather than men. We fail to trust God as we take our lives into our own hands once again. Yet, we also find joy as we allow God to shape our ambitions, our passions, our loves, and our view of self and others.

The danger lies in allowing our roles to become our purpose. As Warren says, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.” For me, I find this to be so very, very hard. Though I know I belong to Christ, I often look to circumstances and relationships to define and anchor me; so when any of these things change, I easily drift away. Our contentment must be rooted in something more substantial—and more eternal.

Hebrews 13 declares:

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" … Therefore let us go to [Jesus] outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

This year I am choosing two words:  Be involved. I want to be more involved with my children. I want to actively love them and challenge them and cheer them on. I desire to be more involved with my husband. I need to motivate us to connect on those deeper levels during those times in our days when it's just so much easier to be near each other but not be with each other. I would like to be more involved with my neighbor–both the woman who lives up above us and the mom that I meet at the park. And I desperately need to be more involved with God. 

I need to boldly run to God and plead with him to help me to lay aside the distractions of this world. With confidence, I can say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.” These roles that I take on will change, but God will never leave me. My relationships will ebb and flow, but He will never forsake me. I cannot stake my purpose in a relationship or a person, for this will fail me every time; rather, I should desire to count the cost and run to Jesus no matter the reproach. I must beg God to give me eyes that are fixated on the Kingdom to come, lips that are quick to praise God and acknowledge his name, and a heart that seeks to do good and invest myself in others.

Being a loving and invested mom is a good thing. Being a faithful and trustworthy employee is a good thing. Being a loyal and supportive wife is also a very good thing. But not only will these things fail to give me the true contentment I seek, I will also fail miserably at them if I miss my greater purpose: “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me” (Philippians 3:12, NLT). We will all be better daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends, and coworkers when we seek to become that finished work Christ already saw in us when he saved us. Don't lose yourself in purposelessness or apathy this year.

Be involved. Fight for joy, as God fights for your joy.

When condemnation grips my heart and Satan tempts me to despair, I hear the voice that scatters fear. The Great I Am, the Lord is here. Oh, praise the One who fights for me and shields my soul eternally. –Rend Collective, “Boldly I Approach”