Last year, instead of making a New Year's Resolution, I chose one word that I wanted to define my year: servanthood. It wasn't easy. In fact, I would say that after the first six months, I became somewhat immune to the word; nevertheless, I am glad that I did it, and I want to try again this year.
As I thought and thought about what I struggled most with in 2014, it became clear to me that I drifted through many periods of purposelessness and apathy. This fall, in our MOPS group, we have focused on the theme "Be You, Bravely." So often I allow fear to drive my life and keep me from trying new things–whether it's potty training my two-year-old or introducing myself to a stranger. It's easier to stay where life is comfortable and relatively safe, instead of stretching myself or trying and failing. As our lives and our roles change, we often lose our sense of self and just stay afloat in the day-to-day aspects of living life, rather than diving in and reaching for the next thing God has for us.
I went searching for a quote from Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life, a book I read when I was out on my own for the first time my first semester of college. While perhaps not on my list of the top five books I have ever read, God knew it was what I needed at that time. As I skimmed through the first chapter of the book, what really resonated with me wasn't the perspective on where I came from but the purposelessness I have felt lately with where I am going. 2014 ushered in a new era for me as I quit my full-time job to stay at home after the birth of our second child. I could write pages on what drove us to make that decision; however, as with many things in life, sometimes the greater challenge is not the decisions themselves but the act of living them out.
There is so much value in taking that leap of faith and following what we believe to be God’s will for us; the difficulty often lies in the day-to-day faithfulness to the steps we have already taken as we practice the upward climb of our walk with Christ. We struggle for joy in the daily tasks he sets before us. We wrestle with seeking to please God rather than men. We fail to trust God as we take our lives into our own hands once again. Yet, we also find joy as we allow God to shape our ambitions, our passions, our loves, and our view of self and others.
The danger lies in allowing our roles to become our purpose. As Warren says, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.” For me, I find this to be so very, very hard. Though I know I belong to Christ, I often look to circumstances and relationships to define and anchor me; so when any of these things change, I easily drift away. Our contentment must be rooted in something more substantial—and more eternal.
Hebrews 13 declares:
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" … Therefore let us go to [Jesus] outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
This year I am choosing two words: Be involved. I want to be more involved with my children. I want to actively love them and challenge them and cheer them on. I desire to be more involved with my husband. I need to motivate us to connect on those deeper levels during those times in our days when it's just so much easier to be near each other but not be with each other. I would like to be more involved with my neighbor–both the woman who lives up above us and the mom that I meet at the park. And I desperately need to be more involved with God.
I need to boldly run to God and plead with him to help me to lay aside the distractions of this world. With confidence, I can say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.” These roles that I take on will change, but God will never leave me. My relationships will ebb and flow, but He will never forsake me. I cannot stake my purpose in a relationship or a person, for this will fail me every time; rather, I should desire to count the cost and run to Jesus no matter the reproach. I must beg God to give me eyes that are fixated on the Kingdom to come, lips that are quick to praise God and acknowledge his name, and a heart that seeks to do good and invest myself in others.
Being a loving and invested mom is a good thing. Being a faithful and trustworthy employee is a good thing. Being a loyal and supportive wife is also a very good thing. But not only will these things fail to give me the true contentment I seek, I will also fail miserably at them if I miss my greater purpose: “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me” (Philippians 3:12, NLT). We will all be better daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends, and coworkers when we seek to become that finished work Christ already saw in us when he saved us. Don't lose yourself in purposelessness or apathy this year.
Be involved. Fight for joy, as God fights for your joy.
When condemnation grips my heart and Satan tempts me to despair, I hear the voice that scatters fear. The Great I Am, the Lord is here. Oh, praise the One who fights for me and shields my soul eternally. –Rend Collective, “Boldly I Approach”
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