Expectations

Everyday I expect certain things to happen. When I wake up and push the handle on my faucet, I expect water to come out. When I put my key in the ignition and turn it, I expect my car to start. I also have expectations of the people around me (like expecting my husband to take out the trash--wink, wink).

The danger, however, is when I start demanding what was expected of those in my life. Or when I expect things to go wrong, and waste my time worrying about them.

We spent several days this month with my dad's family in Florida, who we really only get to see once a year. Growing up, I always set high expectations on our time together, since we didn't get to see each other everyday. I would try to be on my best behavior, and I set out to never make any waves. I wanted things to be peaceful and to make everyone happy. Fast forward to my adult life and the fact that I now have a family of my own, and things haven't completely changed. Only, this time I am praying that we can handle our two boys flying on our laps when we have to get up before the crack of dawn to leave, and, oh, please, please let them sleep while we are there, and I sure hope nothing too valuable gets broken in a house that has not been toddler-proofed.

And there was my first mistake--I kept slipping into worry and anxiety.

I've always loved this quote from Anne of Green Gables. It ties right in with Matthew 6:34, "So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." I would say that I'm pretty optimistic, but sometimes I'm afraid to assume something will go well, so, in trying to be realistic, I swing the opposite way and set my expectations low. What a waste of my time and energy! How much more enjoyable my time would be if I remember to look forward to the good things ahead and expect the best of things. And how detrimental the sin of worry is to my silly heart.

My second mistake was getting so caught up in the less important details of schedules and in all of the "what ifs" that I forgot to focus on the relationships. What I should have been doing was preparing my heart for our visit and asking God to help me to be a blessing to my family. Sometimes I struggle with how much my family and I are not involved in each other's lives. Oftentimes, I have expectations I set up for them that are not met, and my emotions come crashing down when they are not met. And now that my family members are grandparents and aunts and uncles, I feel similarly (if not more strongly) on my children's behalf.

How unfair I am.

How many times do I fail to meet up to others' ideals for me and am shown grace over and over again? How many times have I hoped or wanted or demanded someone to say or do certain things but never actually communicated these expectations to them? How many times have I held someone up to a standard that I myself am not meeting?

Once again, I am reminded that I need to adopt the mantra of "an attitude of gratitude". I am so thankful for the family I have been placed in and how they love me and my little family. I am so thankful for all I have learned through all the ways we function and dysfunction. And I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father and brothers and sisters in Christ in the amazing family of God. We cannot expect our relationships to fill what is lacking in our lives--only Jesus can do that.

So appreciate what you have. And if you're struggling, give it over to the One who "is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20).