One Word

I feel as though I am on the cusp of many changes in my life. There is, of course, the ringing in of the new year. And in this new year, we are settling into being a family of four. With the addition of another little one to our household, we have made the decision for Mom (that's me!) to stay at home; that alone is a huge life change for both Jordan and I. And as I enter into the last week of my twenties--that's right, the big three-oh is waiting for me on Friday--I find myself in a reflective mood.

A few days ago, I saw an author discussing his book, One Word That Will Change Your Life. I have never read the book and probably never will, but I did like what he had to say. They were discussing resolutions, and he explained his philosophy: "One Word explains how to simplify your life and business by focusing on just ONE WORD for the entire year. The simplicity of choosing one word makes it a catalyst for life-change. Clutter and complexity lead to procrastination and paralysis, while simplicity and focus lead to success and clarity." His three main points were to "look in, look up, and look out." The idea is that each year you pick a new word that you want to define your year and be your focus for change, like compassion or gratefulness.

I really did not give it too much thought again until this morning. I was overwhelmed this morning during communion by what God has given me and what He sacrificed for me to have it. And as I was reflecting on what I have in Christ and how my heart needs to change, my word slammed into my heart and mind.

Servanthood.

There are so many things that I want to work on as I enter a new year, a new decade, and a new phase of my life. There are so many areas where I feel like I fail or cannot even find the motivation to start trying because it just seems too hard or like a setup for failure. There are so many lessons that I know I still need to learn.

But if I could focus on just one thing for now, it would be servanthood. I desire to have a servant's heart. To do things for others--not just out of mere obligation or duty, but because I delight in it. There is a story that John Piper tells of how he can best follow God's command to love his wife. He could, of course (and this is all paraphrased), show up to their door with a dozen roses. And when she answers the door, he could hand them to her and say, "These are for you...because that is what a good husband is supposed to do." Or, he could show up with those same dozen roses and say, "I wanted to give these to you so much, just to see your face lighting up like it is now. You are my delight." That is why his mantra is, "God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."

I want to delight in laying down my life for my husband.

He deserves someone who places his needs before her own. I want to strive to not only do the things we have come to expect from each other but to look for ways to live out love to him by serving him. I want to be the kind of partner who helps to carry his burdens, instead of adding to them. I want to take joy in bringing him joy and creating a joyful home for him to return to everyday. And I want to be the kind of wife that he can place his trust in because I am a good steward of all of the things we have worked so hard for and, like the Proverbs 31 woman, I make good use of the things we have so graciously been given.

I want to delight in laying down my life for my sons.

There is still so much I have to learn:  about being a parent, about babies who become boys who become men, about representing Christ to my children by the way that I live--so that they might be drawn to Him by what they see in me--and about living a lifestyle of grace where love of others overpowers love of self. I want to teach my boys that hard work is not only demanded of us, but it pays off in the end and it builds you into the kind of person others can depend on. I want to demonstrate to them that, in a family, you always come last, and when you focus on the needs of others, the dying to self comes easier everyday. I want to pour myself out each day (oh, how I want this but my heart is so disinclined toward it!) as a wife and a mother, so at the end of the day, I have absolutely nothing left, and I have to run to God and be filled by His strength and His heart because this just cannot come from me.

I want to delight in laying down my life for my friends.

One of the more difficult things I have found about starting a family is the challenge of allowing friendships to evolve to make room for the new people in your life without letting those friendships fall by the wayside. Some of my dearest friends I hardly ever get to see because our schedules are just so hard to work out. And some of the best days of my life were in college when my friends were also my roommates. I loved the movie nights, Dairy Queen runs, when other friends would sleep over, and talks that would go late into the night. My heart still craves that kind of close female friendship--it seems like lately I get little tastes of it here and there but not enough to really satisfy that need.

If I desire this friendship so much, then I need to put myself out there. Everyone my age is busy, either with things at home or at work or with ministry. But if I don't put forth the effort, then how can I reap the rewards? I want to be a better friend to those who have stood by me for so long. I think it starts with little things:  texting an encouraging word, asking how I can pray for them (and actually praying for them), or making room in our schedules for a coffee date. But I want to go even deeper than that. I want to look for ways that I can show love to my friends. I want to find a way to be involved in their lives even when time and distance prevents me from being physically present in their lives as much as I would like. I need to put forth the effort to make things happen. And I am still okay with a late night chat from time to time. :)

"The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." --Matthew 23:11-12