Walking to the Beat of a New Drum

Hopefully, Baby will be here three weeks from Tuesday. We are getting so close!

In case you can't read the signs, Kieran's says "18 months" and mine "8 months". :)

Once again, my friend, Diane, took some lovely maternity pictures for us.

She shot some 18-month photos for us, as well.

Last year, I posted about waiting for Kieran and how I should be waiting for heaven or for Christ's return with the same level of anticipation, if not more (subsequently, I did go into labor that evening). This week, I have been mulling over how much my perspective changes toward the end of my pregnancy. It becomes so difficult for me to...get as invested in certain things that those around me seem to be occupying themselves with. Part of that is just plain scheduling:  "Can I really say I can go to that event when I might be in the hospital?" But a lot of it has to do with perspective. These mini crises over here just don't seem that important anymore. Someone's complaints about such-and-such just don't affect me the way they used to.

I suppose you start to look at everything through the lens of, "Well, I'm almost done growing a baby here, and that is much more important." This is not to imply that other people don't matter; rather, this part of my pregnancy gives me a chance to see how many nonessential, non-important things tend to take over my days. Those other little things just seem to fall away now that I have this tunnel vision.

This parallels to my thoughts last year, in that, I think that this, too, could apply to my walk with Jesus. What if I had that kind of tunnel vision for the Kingdom? What if I stopped letting the tiny little things that don't matter but that so quickly add up to overwhelm and overtake my life take precedence and allowed my life to be set to the beat of my Master's heart?

I have been struggling a lot lately with feeling inadequately equipped to take care of two little people that God has entrusted me with. And the reason I feel that way is because I am! Time and time again, I fail to take advantage of the tools He has provided me with.

You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word. ...I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life. ...Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble. ...How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey.

I am looking forward to spending more time in the Word and in prayer over the next few weeks as I ask God to continue to mold me into the woman I need to be for the tasks that lay before me. If you think of us, could you pray for us, as well? It is kind of scary going into this second birth knowing that we have a 60-70 percent chance of doing this all the normal way. ...Meaning that there is still a 30-40 percent chance that I will have to have another c-section. I tend to feel like all of the pressure is on me to see this thing through, but, truthfully, all the pressure is on God. :) He will accomplish what He will--it is just a matter of me trusting and relying on Him to do the very best thing!