Walking to the Beat of a New Drum

Hopefully, Baby will be here three weeks from Tuesday. We are getting so close!

In case you can't read the signs, Kieran's says "18 months" and mine "8 months". :)

Once again, my friend, Diane, took some lovely maternity pictures for us.

She shot some 18-month photos for us, as well.

Last year, I posted about waiting for Kieran and how I should be waiting for heaven or for Christ's return with the same level of anticipation, if not more (subsequently, I did go into labor that evening). This week, I have been mulling over how much my perspective changes toward the end of my pregnancy. It becomes so difficult for me to...get as invested in certain things that those around me seem to be occupying themselves with. Part of that is just plain scheduling:  "Can I really say I can go to that event when I might be in the hospital?" But a lot of it has to do with perspective. These mini crises over here just don't seem that important anymore. Someone's complaints about such-and-such just don't affect me the way they used to.

I suppose you start to look at everything through the lens of, "Well, I'm almost done growing a baby here, and that is much more important." This is not to imply that other people don't matter; rather, this part of my pregnancy gives me a chance to see how many nonessential, non-important things tend to take over my days. Those other little things just seem to fall away now that I have this tunnel vision.

This parallels to my thoughts last year, in that, I think that this, too, could apply to my walk with Jesus. What if I had that kind of tunnel vision for the Kingdom? What if I stopped letting the tiny little things that don't matter but that so quickly add up to overwhelm and overtake my life take precedence and allowed my life to be set to the beat of my Master's heart?

I have been struggling a lot lately with feeling inadequately equipped to take care of two little people that God has entrusted me with. And the reason I feel that way is because I am! Time and time again, I fail to take advantage of the tools He has provided me with.

You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word. ...I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life. ...Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble. ...How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey.

I am looking forward to spending more time in the Word and in prayer over the next few weeks as I ask God to continue to mold me into the woman I need to be for the tasks that lay before me. If you think of us, could you pray for us, as well? It is kind of scary going into this second birth knowing that we have a 60-70 percent chance of doing this all the normal way. ...Meaning that there is still a 30-40 percent chance that I will have to have another c-section. I tend to feel like all of the pressure is on me to see this thing through, but, truthfully, all the pressure is on God. :) He will accomplish what He will--it is just a matter of me trusting and relying on Him to do the very best thing! 

Don't Cross the Street

His handwriting is impeccable.

I love my boy. He is full of spunk, a love for life, and brings me so much joy. It's so crazy that he is now 18 months old!

I love my boy, but I don't always love what he does. For instance, today we were playing out at Grandma and Grandpa's farm. Several times he tried to run out onto the road, and several times I had to redirect him. I explained to him that he could play anywhere he wanted on this side of the road but he was not to go into the road. Eventually, the temptation would become too much for him, and he would canter in his toddler pitter-patter down to the road, thinking he could outrun me (which, surprisingly, he can't--even with me at eight months pregnant). Feeling like he knew that he was doing something he was specifically asked not to do, I told him that if he went near the road one more time, he would lose his outside time.

Can you guess what he did? :)

Telling this story to Jordan later this evening, I was struck once again by how similar that behavior is to how I respond to my Father. I had said, "Toddlers are like puppies:  they instinctively find boundaries and then spend all their time trying to figure out how to get over, under, or across them, convinced that there must be something better on the other side that you are tragically keeping them from."

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters" (Romans 8:28-29).

How is He trying to lead you...and protect you?

My little teacher. :)

Trails, Trains, and Teachable Moments

Sometimes gifts come wrapped up in pretty packages or in envelopes or brown paper boxes. Sometimes they come in smiles and giggles and that feeling you get when you see your two loves enjoying life together.

Enjoying the tricycle we gave him for his birthday

This little boy loves to be outside! Rocks, sticks, pieces of bark...they are all fascinating to him. He loves the freedom of being able to run anywhere in any direction. It is so hard for me when he cries when we have to take him inside again.

He also loves anything with wheels; in fact, he can say, "truck", "tractor" (sort of), and "car". So, we were super excited to be able to take him on a train ride with grandma and grandpa!

It is an interesting process, watching your baby take off without you. Uphill, downhill, tripping over dips in the ground. It struck me as I was letting him run free the other day that we are a lot alike. When Kieran was nearing an area that I knew was somewhat dangerous for him to venture into, I tried to turn him around. Of course, he dug his heels in and tried to pull back to where he wanted to go. Since my first attempt didn't work, I then picked him up and started to carry him away from the danger. Surprise, surprise...this led to squealing and kicking for me to put him down so he could run back to where he wanted to go. After walking a few yards, I told him, "If you want to enjoy your walk with Mama, then you need to walk where I want you to walk. You'll have a lot more fun if you don't waste your time resisting me."

We had to repeat this process a few more times--whether or not he learned anything is still a mystery to me, but he did enjoy walking with me in between his distractions. I realized that this is exactly what I do with my Daddy. I like to walk with Him when He leads me where I want to go. But I get so easily distracted by the things that I desire that I run ahead of him. It's no surprise that I stumble and fall. And when I cry out to God, I seem surprised that He was right there the whole time. I am the one who let go of His hand. I am the one who thought I saw something better and, like Eve, thought God was withholding something good from me. I am the one who runs back when the thing is not good and says, "God, where were you in that?" And I am the one who so easily forgets the joy of walking with my Father.

Sometimes, I just need a little reminder.

It's the Final Countdown

Friday the 16th I got to see Baby again! I am going to a new clinic now since I am on the path to try and deliver normally (i.e., not have a c-section). While I do miss my midwives, the doctors seem super nice so far and have been really supportive of our decision. On my second appointment there, I had my glucose test (I passed!) and an ultrasound to check the position of the placenta. Not only has it migrated even farther away from the cervix (which is what they wanted to see), but I got to see my baby in 3D and take home some much-loved pictures.

The umbilical cord was in the way the whole time, blocking my view of his or her little face...but it was pretty funny to see that I have a mustache baby! :)

Since these are print outs, not digitals, it's kind of hard to see due to the contrast.

I think that these 3D shots are kind of cool and somewhat weird at the same time. But I am sure that any parent is glad to have any pictures of their babies in utero.

We are getting close to the final countdown here, as I will be 30 weeks along on Tuesday!

Me and Baby #3 at 28 weeks

We are also in the final countdown for summer. We had fun going to the Iowa State Fair again last week, enjoying our usual sights and foods and trying a new kind of funnel cake (I am a funnel cake traditionalist), the much-celebrated maple bacon funnel cake. It has been a busy summer, and Jordan has been working a lot, but I am trying to make as many memories as I can before we become shut-ins for the winter! Tonight, we are finally going to put together Kieran's tricycle and take him to a nearby "lake" to try it out. Hopefully, in the next couple of weeks we will also be going to see and ride the trains as Kieran seems to be obsessed with trucks, tractors, and anything with wheels. I would also like to visit an orchard or two, as we had so much fun last year, and K will be able to participate so much more this year. Even though it is super hot this weekend, fall is just around the corner, and I can't wait!

I just had to sneak in a picture of my curious little man!

Moving, Talking, and Pizza

We spent the end of July moving down the block to a three-bedroom apartment in our same complex. And, while staying in our area made things easier, not taking any time off of work, having a 16-month-old boy to chase after, and being six months pregnant certainly did not make things any easier. Still, we are very, very thankful for all the help my in-laws gave us, and we love having all of the extra room. I am excited to slowly transition into moving Kieran's things into the nursery as I collect new (well, probably used) things for his little boy's room. :)

Our little man is getting so big and is always on the move these days! This week he is cutting two canines, so he will have 10 teeth now. His vocabulary is expanding, although you may need Mom and Dad to interpret to be able to understand him. :) Besides "Mama" and "Dada", he also says "crack" for crackers, "book", "truck", and "cup". He also says silly things like "uh-oh!", "ta-da!", "ding!", and "um". I'm sure there are more I'm not thinking of, too.

This little boy has recently shown us his ability to exert his will! It has been interesting to see him evolve into a toddler as he clearly lets us know when he is not pleased. He is still a pretty happy-go-lucky boy, though, and not too much makes him happier than eating something he loves. Like pizza!

Kieran LOVES homemade pizza.

Love this sweet little messy face!