What to Say?

I have been remiss.

Almost every night I think about posting, but I just can't seem to because there's too much to post about. Isn't that ironic?

Since I last posted, I have spent a week counseling girls from our youth group at Sr. High camp, I pulled an all-nighter to finish the monthly newsletter for our church, I have coordinated the decorations for the wedding of two of my loveliest friends, and I have ignored my laundry for far too long. 

And honestly, I don't feel like I can go into all those details. 

Especially with camp, I never know what to say when people want you to summarize a whole week, month, summer, or even year in the 30 seconds they are willing to listen to you talk about it. :) Was it great? Yes! Did God work in people's lives? Double "Yes!" Was I excited to come home and sleep in my own bed and shower in my own shower? ...Um...YES.

One of the best things that I think has happened in the last few weeks has been God softening my heart. He has been showing me how easily I am "prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love". I grow far too comfortable with "the sin that so easily entangles us" and allowing distance to grow between me and the Lover of My Soul. Just like the relationship within a marriage, my relationship with God takes work. I cannot just say, "Jesus, You have all of me, now and forever more...the end!" 

When I stood before my husband on our wedding day and pledged my heart, my mind, and my body to him, in essence I said:  "Where you go, I will go. What your heart longs for, I will long for. When you sorrow, I will sorrow. When you rejoice, I will rejoice. When you fall down, I will pick you up. And when I fall down, I will look for your hand to guide me and protect me." In a similar way, I have said to my Father in Heaven:  "I will go where You want me to go. I want to desire what Your heart desires. I want to see sorrow and joy the way that You do. I trust that You will never fail me, and when I fail, I trust that You will always be there to guide me and protect me."

Just as I could choose to forget our wedding vows, I can easily forget my call as a disciple of Christ. Just as my marriage takes the work of daily deciding to love and respect my husband as God calls me to and as Jordan deserves, walking with God takes the work of daily deciding to spend time communicating with Him by reading His Word, coming to Him in prayer, and--my new favorite--being still and knowing that He is God. With all of the distractions around me, it is so easy to forget that "in Him we live and move and have our being". Daily I need to choose to serve Christ--or as Jonny Diaz says in his song, "Love Like You Loved":

Help me to love like You loved,

To serve like You served,

To speak only words of truth.

Help me to care like You cared,

For a world in despair,

Help me to love like You.

If We With Ink the Ocean Fill

Sometimes, you can talk to people, but never really with people. 

Today, I was conversing with someone who came into my workplace that I see on a fairly regular basis. Last time I talked with him, he had given me some advice on HDMI cables, and today he was asking me if I had followed up on it (which I still need to). Well, in the course of our conversation, he mentioned his children, and I asked him how many kids he had. He told me about his three children, two of whom were six-month-old twin boys. One of the brothers had been born with a rare form of dwarfism that had resulted from a genetic mutation. He is still in the hospital because his trachea did not form correctly, and he still cannot breathe on his own.

It made me realize that we can think that we know people or have a read on them, and not have a clue about what is going on in their lives. How can we pass judgment on others when we cannot see into their homes or their hearts? John 15:12 says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." We are commanded to love people even when they don't seem lovable...and even when we don't feel very loving. We are commanded to love with the love of Christ:  "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). 

Lay down his life. What does that mean? I think, in some cases, we might be called to physically lay down our life for someone--a husband, a wife, a child, or even a stranger. But since that doesn't seem to be required from most of us, how can this still be applied to our lives? We can lay down our pride. We can lay down our rights. We can lay down our desires.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! 

I know that this passage from Philippians is kind of known as "the humility chapter", and many of you might say, "Yeah, yeah, I've heard this before...." But I know that I will never have it down. I can always be more loving, more unselfish, and a better reflection of Christ. And I need to pray that God would open my eyes to those who need His love and that I can learn to love like Christ.

Jordan the Conquerer

So, I came home today to a technological revolution.

For the past two weeks I have practically been living in a cave. Now, living in a cave is not all bad. There's plenty of time to organize the cave, scrub it down, and decorate it with care. Some people would really love to find a cave of their own, and I am blessed to have one.

But to go without television, internet, and a phone for two weeks is pretty unheard of these days unless you are taking a trip up to the boundary waters or something.

Today, I came home to the internet. That's right, a signal streaming free and clear to my lovely Toshiba laptop. "How did this marvelous occurrence come about?" you ask. My husband conquered the internet. The details are unimportant, but it was a well-fought battle, of which Jordan came out the winner.

I'm so proud.

Tonight, we are off to switch cell phone providers (to one that has a tower near us) and perhaps buy a television. If not, I'll be okay 'cause my cave just got a little bit brighter. ;)

A Taste of Home

First of all, I have to tell you that there is not much to say on our little jaunt into Chi-town. We got in and we got out in three days without actually doing anything that I wanted to do except going to Taste of Chicago. I think that both Jordan and I were disappointed, but I don't want to put that on the good old Taste because it's not its fault that my family likes to breeze right through things without actually taking the time to really stop and experience anything; however, it was beautiful and frightfully hot while we were there, I got to catch up a little with my family, I ate some sweet potato fries, and I think we were a blessing to my grandma. So, it was a good time overall. Plus, we got to try out our brand-new (to us) Garmin GPS--holy buckets! How could I have forgotten to choose the toll-free route? Driving into Chicago on a Friday afternoon the first weekend of Taste of Chicago of all days!! I believe, had I been driving a manual, I would have gone somewhat insane. :)

I still have no pictures of our new place because we are still having issues hooking up our wireless--it shall be conquered! But we are 80% unpacked and I love it. For the first time since I left my parents' home I feel like I am at home. Not that home isn't where the heart is or anything. I just have always felt like a transient in an apartment. We love the space and our neighborhood, and even the drive wakes me up before it's time for work. ;)

That being said, I thought you all might be interested in what this moving experience has taught me (to clarify, I have moved before, but always as a single person with little to my name). Before this library computer kicks me off, I'll offer up my list of the top five things to have when moving:

1. A Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
   It really is magic! You can clean all you want, but when you "erase" what you have cleaned, it puts your skills to shame. It's like there's a little bit of Harry Potter in every sponge.
   
   
2. A U-Haul truck
   Or a Budget truck or whatever company you like. The point is, it's not as expensive as I thought, you can rent dollies and furniture pads for a fairly good price, and the convenience and peace of mind is priceless.
   
   
3. Time
   No matter how much you budget for packing/cleaning/moving, always add on another 25% at least. Actually, the actual transportation of items from one place to another does not require much of your time. It's the sorting and the discarding and the mental anguish that really tax you.
   
   
4. Friends/Family
   Hallelujah for people who are willing to lend a hand! Many hands really do make light work, as well as add to the fun.
   
   
5. A humble and contrite spirit
   There comes a time when you really must "suck it up" and say that, yes, you will let your mother-in-law help you clean even though you have ignored housekeeping for the last three weeks and in three years have not even once moved the refrigerator, stove, or couch to clean behind them. Just remember:  moms have changed dirty diapers, bleached dirty socks, and placed caution tape on the door of your teenaged bedroom. They still have the heart and the gusto to don a hazmat suit and grab a toilet brush.

I'm Just Not Strong Enough

So...I've been a little busy. Working and packing and traveling and packing and moving and definitely not unpacking because I still have to work.

I promise there will be pictures of our new place when some semblance of order has been restored. I promise that I will write a real post as soon as we figure out how to get our internet hooked up (Funny story, actually...we are automatically redirected to a webpage that asks us to enter an account number and registration code, of which both our internet provider and property manager are apparently unaware of. I need to work on my hacking skills....). And I promise that I will fill you in on our Chicago trip, as well (Always choose the toll-free route!). In the mean time, here is something that will hopefully entertain and encourage you, since it seems that I unable to do so.