Privileged

Here I am posting. One month later. {Sigh}

I have so many post ideas in my head, but I am very jealous of my free time! However, I am not ready to give up and flip the switch on this blog.

One of the ideas that keeps resurfacing is this epiphany I had recently. Does that ever happen to you? You suddenly have this realization where your eyes are opened to something new--something that most people would probably say, "Well, of course," to. For me, it is the reality of what a privilege and an honor it is to be Kieran's mom.

For all of you yet-to-be mothers who someday want to become a mom but are okay with that day being a (long) while from now, you might be intimidated by the idea of motherhood. Who wouldn't be? You hear so many stories of long nights, explosive diapers, "witching hours" with endless crying, and being tired, tired, tired. While that is surely truer for some than others, these stories really emphasize the servanthood of motherhood.

Well, actually, they often make motherhood sound a lot like slavery. And there are times, in any role in life, when that is very much how we can feel. But the truer, ongoing story is that it is an amazing privilege to be a mom. Whether you are a biological, adopted, or spiritual mom, you will eventually realize that you have been given an amazing gift in this new status in life. You have been given the opportunity to watch a life grow--not only to watch it grow, but to affect its growth by molding and shaping it, guiding the direction in which it sprouts, leading it toward the sunlight (and, hopefully, the Son's light). There is this amazing person in the making, and rather than being a chore or a burden, it is an honor to raise this person. And, if you do it well, your children will "rise up and call you blessed."

I used to wonder why anyone would want to make their life all about someone else. Why would you want to dedicate all of that time, just to have them leave and then you don't know who you are anymore? But I think that giving  your life for others--whether it's your children, your spouse, or your friends--leads to a fullness of life that cannot be obtained by living for yourself. When you make your life about service, you learn to be spent. As I heard at a baby shower recently, we need to learn to give ourselves over to our families without abandon, not holding anything back. Instead of reserving that little bit of energy or time that we think we will need for ourselves, we pour out our lives (Philippians 2:17) for them and expect God to fill us again to overflowing. Because the strength cannot come from ourselves, but from the ultimate Father who knows how to do good for His children.

And so, I also let go of any ideas of who I want Kieran to be. Of course, I want him to be a little Jordan and follow in his papa's footsteps. But no matter what livelihood he chooses or what kind of personality he develops, my greatest desires are for him to learn to love and serve his Savior and become a man of integrity. Beyond, that I can ask for nothing more except the grace to lead him toward that end.

This is a photo of baby Jordan on the left and baby Kieran on the right.