She's Here!

It's taken me a little while to write this because, well, I have simply had better things to do! :)

Let me start at the beginning. Friday, March 4th, we arrived at the hospital bright and early at 5:30 a.m. ready for our scheduled c-section. We weren't quite sure when we would get started because we were the second ones scheduled, but I think we finally went back around 9:00 a.m. As the time got closer and closer, I started to get so nervous, I actually thought I might throw up (although, I swear that could be all of the anti-nausea medications they gave me – blech!). But prayer and a lot of choosing not to dwell on my fears got me through the waiting, which was probably the worst part. 

When I finally got back to the operating room, they had the hardest time getting the anesthesia in (the procedure is the same as when getting an epidural). I lost count of how many times I was poked in the back – I guess being vertically challenged means that there is less room to work with between each vertebra. It was kind of nerve wracking, as it was hard not to wonder if the anesthesia would actually work. 

But eventually, everything was sorted out, Jordan was able to join me again, and it was time to start. Of course, I hardly remember Kieran's anymore because I was so tired, and I'm sure I don't remember all of the details of Elias', even though I wrote them both down. Still, this time around, the whole process seemed a lot more … aggressive. There was a lot of pushing and pulling and it seemed to take forever. Just like with Elias, they had to use the vacuum, this time because the baby's head was cockeyed. 

Nevertheless, at 9:51 a.m. we finally heard that first cry. When they announced, "It's a girl!" to us, Jordan and I were both in total shock. Every pregnancy we have entertained thoughts of a daughter, but with each boy the prospect seemed less and less likely – especially since boys run in the family. And this was all of her little face that I got to stare at while they finished taking care of me.

I felt so desperate for a good look at her face! Eventually, they took her to do her assessment, and about an hour after she was born, we were back in our room, and she was nursing like a little champ.

Our sweet baby girl, Adeline Hope, weighed 6 pounds, 11 ounces (another big surprise, since the boys were 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 8 pounds, 7 ounces) and was 19 inches long. She also had the tiniest little head (again, especially compared to our boys). We were delighted to see her head of dark hair after two bald babes and, for now, we think she looks a lot like Kieran did as a baby, but of course, still definitely her own person.

Kieran James (3 years, 11 months), Elias Finn (2 years, 4 months), and Adeline Hope

We are in love with our family of five, and we praise God for these souls He has entrusted us with for just a little while.

Nesting: Part Two

I wasn't sure how it was going to happen, but a week ago, the husband and the boys got the closet started for me, and now it's all done! I love that it took us nine years to finally get a shoe rack. :)

It may not look fancy, but since I don't have any before pictures (since the boys started unexpectedly), you can't see just how bad it really was! Also, in the past couple of weeks, I have been able to clean out the fridge and the under-the-sink areas for our kitchen and bathrooms.

Oohhh, under the sinks was so bad! I don't know how I let it become so messy and just yuck. This picture doesn't do it justice. And in our bathroom, some cough syrup had leaked, so that was fun! I am excited, though, because my only real project left is to wash all the car seat covers (including the baby's) and clean out the van. Other than that, this week I can just concentrate on staying on top of things, hanging out with my boys, and anticipating this little one's arrival. :) Oh! And a nice, relaxing haircut. :D

Nesting

We have 18 days until this baby arrives.

Eighteen. Days.

This morning, when I took the boys to the library, the librarian asked me, "So have you gotten everything ready for this one to come home?"

"Uhhhh … well, there's really not much to do when it's your third."

True and untrue.

Elias is still in "the nursery," and we haven't really figured out when we want to kick him out into Kieran's room. Of course, the baby will sleep in our room at first, so all that really requires is setting up the pack 'n play. :D

But do I still have a to-do list? You betcha! Somehow, what seemed like an eternity is all of the sudden just around the corner, and there are some serious nesting things I want to get checked off of my list. Unfortunately, we have had a few rounds of sicknesses go through our family, and that just really lets all of the air our of one's plans, doesn't it?

So today I decided to stop waiting for my grown-up helper to be well and healthy and available and coerce my little minions persuade my dear children to be my helpers, instead. For the 2.5 years that we have lived here, I have had my "pantry" in the closet of the nursery and kept our trash and can/bottle recycling bins in our coat closet. Since I have also been a stay-at-home mom now for over two years, as well, my baking and other kitchen projects have increased; therefore, I knew that wasn't going to work to have a little one slumbering in there just when I realize I need more brown sugar.

I wish I would have gotten some pictures of the boys hard at work today! Okay, so it was mostly Kieran who helped, but still, he was super into it! We emptied out the coat closet, swept, and scrubbed down the walls and the floor. I put away the jackets that we haven't been using this season, then we emptied my shelving unit so it could be moved. Once I had it in the closet (in the only position it would fit), Kieran carried each food item one-by-one so I could restock the shelves. :)

We got a new stainless steel trash can that sits in the kitchen (hopefully harder to accidentally knock over than the plastic ones?), and since I stopped buying pop/soda, we threw out both of our old cans (less scrubbing for me – yay!) We also threw out quite a few other things, so now the nursery closet is reorganized, and I need to decide how I want to use the space in there. And my so-called pantry is reorganized and more accessible to me, too. Maybe someday I'll have a real pantry, but in the meantime, I'm thankful for what we have (and for all the stuff I can sneakily store in our upright deep freezer).

Next on my list? The pit of despair that is our master closet. Time to get motivated!

Celebrations

Wow. I have been wanting to write this post for a long time now, but between computer issues and kids who get jealous when I use the computer (it's a real problem), it just hasn't happened. So, let's see if I can squeeze two months into one little – or not so little – blog post.

October was full of fall celebrations with a trip to an apple orchard and pumpkin patch, a hayride at Grandpa and Grandma's farm, and trick-or-treating with our very own fire chief and police chief (not pictured).

November started off grandly with a good view of this little face at his or her 23-week ultrasound.

The same week, we also celebrated the littlest one in the household turning two!

He thoroughly enjoyed his barn cake with farm animal cupcakes. And, while they were fairly time consuming to decorate, his mama certainly enjoyed making them! This little man is my sweet and sassy one! He can be cuddly and full of kisses one minute, then taking a stand and refusing to back down the next. Elias is the one I worry about when I think about this baby coming because he is most certainly a mama's boy, but we are working on that, too.

The first week of November also included Kieran's debut as a ring bearer at the wedding of a long-time friend, Lindsay.

November also brought about the 70th anniversary of Jordan's grandparents.

It was so wonderful to be a part of the celebrations and to hear the testament of the faith, love, and loyalty of these two lovely people that we so admire. It is almost impossible for me to wrap my head around the fact that we have only been married for about 12% of that time! I hope and pray that we can be even half of the example to our own children and grandchildren that they have been to us.

Since then, we have also had plenty of time with family – including a trip to Illinois to visit my brother and his family during the one snowstorm we've had this winter – a fun date night with our small group, and Christmas celebrations. We even got to celebrate with some neighborhood friends tonight as we adapted what has become our annual Elf party. :) … And while it looks like we won't have a white Christmas this year, we definitely have much to celebrate.

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When Waiting is Hard

Maybe you're waiting to hear on a job you were hoping to land. Or a call from that realtor about the house that seems like it's just the right fit.

Or a diagnosis.

Perhaps you are waiting for life in general to get better … or just hoping it won't get worse.

As for me, I found myself waiting for another child. Different desires would overtake me at different times. One moment, I would be sitting on the floor completely content to be reading a book to my two lovely boys; later, I would be vacuuming and realize I just spent the last 20 minutes thinking, "If we were to get pregnant this month, this is when our baby would be born," and daydreaming about what it would be like.

Logically, I knew that it didn't matter when or even if we had another child. Not only could I be content with what I had been given, I could learn to be content with His timing, too. But in my heart, I had ideas and plans – I had my own timing. And it seemed like no one really cared about any of it. It is a difficult thing when husband and wife are not on the same page. … And not because of arguing or strife, but simply because one can feel passionately about something while the other does not share the same conviction.

Finally, while going through a study on James, I realized that this had become an idol in my life. The problem wasn't really that I wanted to have a baby (sooner rather than later). The problem was that I wanted life to go my way. That I wasn't satisfied in waiting on God. When the realization poured over me that this was something I thought about every single day, I knew it was time to do more than just lightly bring up the topic with my husband. So I wrote to him – like I always do when something really heavy is weighing me down.

I have started praying that God would show me why I can't stop thinking about someone who, in all reality, may not ever exist. I love you so much, and Kieran and Elias, too. And I feel pretty strongly that if God were to never give us another child, I could be okay with that. But I never do well with the in-betweens. After we miscarried Asher and before I discovered that we were pregnant with Kieran, I struggled with all the "what ifs" and the "whens." I guess, in some things, I like to have a general idea of what's going to happen.

I was so nervous to approach Jordan with this. I mean, I would never want to be that wife who pressures her husband into a decision that he still needs time to make. But I also would hate for something like this to build up into hurt and discord in our marriage.

… If this makes you feel bad, I'm sorry. But maybe you can understand that as intense as that feeling can sometimes be, I obviously don't feel like that all day, everyday. I am so thankful for you and our boys and the station in life I have so graciously been given. So please have patience with me, try to understand my heart, and ask God to help us stay unified ….

It can be difficult to walk around with a heart that is filled with the chaos of being divided. Once I had shared my heart with my husband and laid it all out before the Lord, I was able to find rest. I was able to understand that, while my husband was okay with "now," he wasn't in a hurry, either. My desires didn't change, but my perspective did. And the best part of all this was that as I was giving my idol over to Him, He was the only one who knew that I was already carrying the newest member of our family. He simply loves me that much that He wanted to draw me closer to Him first.

This verse is actually about Abraham, but I love that I can also take hold of God's promises. :)
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